If you have seen the movie Courageous, then you likely remember a scene that evoked a lot of inspiration. Javier, a humble construction worker, was struggling to make ends meet for his family. As he began to grow in the Lord, he and his friends developed a new spiritual resolve to better lead their wives and children. To commemorate a coming resolution ceremony, Javier bought a new suit, but then began second-guessing the expense. Still delighted with his purchase, his wife Carmen convinces him to put the suit on so she can see him wearing it. As Javier looks in the mirror, he mumbles, “I feel like a rich man.” Carmen wisely redeems the opportunity by speaking into her husband’s life and reminding him of what true riches are all about.
“You are a rich man! You have a strong faith, children that love you, and a wife that adores you.”
Her words demonstrate the importance of seeing life from God’s perspective and also of the great influence a wife can have in her husband’s life. We’ve spent the last few years challenging men to step up to spiritual leadership in their homes. We wanted to take a moment and challenge wives in their priceless place of influence as well. If women knew how much their words can build up or tear down the men in their lives, they may be shocked at the power God has entrusted to them.
The Bible says, “No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.” – Eph. 4:29
Have you applied this verse to your marriage? Men are always “someone in need.” As you know, we need a lot of help. So we ask you, “Do you wisely affirm and strategically praise your husband or do you cut into him with your words and tones? Do your children sense rottenness or a fragrance of grace coming from your lips when you speak to the man who is the ‘Christ representative’ in your relationship” (Ephesians 5:22-24)? When men are treated with disrespect, they tend to either get angry and go on the attack, or they withdraw and start avoiding the source of their ridicule. Both are poisonous to a marriage.
However, men naturally try to please and spend more time with those who respect and praise them the most. When you speak to your husband “as unto the Lord” and support his leadership as best as you can, you draw his heart to your heart and help strengthen his resolve to take better care of you and your children. When you edify the man who is primarily responsible for your home, your entire family benefits.
Your husband may not deserve any of your praise. All men are sinful messes. We do not have it together. No man is worthy of the respect that God commands wives to give their men. But Christ is. And that’s why Christ should always be a wife’s focus and the never-changing inspiration behind her words, not the flawed male that forages around her house.
When a wife prays for her husband, encourages him, and walks alongside him, the Lord is pleased. And in many ways, she is a living portrait of the Holy Spirit in her husband’s life—who is also described as a Helper from God to him.
We pray not only for the men involved but also for the women who need their husbands to step up and lovingly lead in the home. Each of you is priceless and irreplaceable. We want your entire family to experience the rewards of bold men who fearlessly embrace the responsibilities God has given them, both now and for future generations.
We are so grateful that God is still using Courageous and The Resolution for Men to change families. We praise God that couples on the brink of divorce are finding reconciliation and restoration. Lukewarm men are turning into warriors for God. Young boys are stepping up into courageous responsibility. Many times, these stories result in direct answer to the prayers of a supportive wife or mom behind the scenes. May God bless you as you point your husbands and sons to Jesus with the beauty of your life and put fresh wind in their sails to go forward to be the men God is calling them to be.
The Kendricks, in partnership with Lifeway, have just released The Resolution for Men Bible study, an eight-week group curriculum that challenges men to love their wives with a Christ-like love and unpacks the twelve promises in The Resolution for Men book.
