Tangled Web: Internet Caution for Parents

Eee PC
source: Pete Prodoehl

Oh, what a tangled web was penned long before the Internet existed, but it’s an apt description for the lures and pitfalls that can trap preteens posting on social networks. We interviewed Detective Rich Wistocki, a veteran police investigator and parent educator, about online safety concerns.

PL: What should parents know about allowing preteens to use accounts on social networks?

Wistocki: Adults and children should not be connected to other online. You should be connected to your own children, but not others’. There is too much content on adult pages that should not be shared with kids.

PL: Why are kids under 13 restricted from social networks such as Facebook?

Wistocki: Many things can happen online that kids under 13 do not know how to handle. They typically include cyber bullying, predators, and exposure to adult content.

Predators have many tricks for connecting with kids online. Unsuspecting children want more friends, and they are more likely to accept anyone into their network.

PL: Preteens often post their school and activity schedules with captions like, “Check against your schedule and comment.” Dangerous?

Wistocki: Very dangerous! [Those posts] are alerting their entire network to where they are and when. Kids on average can have hundreds of connections and not all of them are trustworthy. Who knows who they are sharing that information with?

Parents should also note that if security settings aren’t set to “private,” kids are sharing that schedule with the World Wide Web.

PL: If parents suspect their preteens have created Facebook accounts without permission, how should they intervene?

Wistocki: I always recommend that parents [approach the subject] in a positive way prior to accusing them. You could say, “I opened a Facebook account. I don’t know anything about it. Can you show me?” Then, observe [kids’] behavior. Do they know all about it? Ask them how. Remember, you know your child best, so go with your gut. If [he] is too young, remind [him] of the rules and deactivate the account. If kids are old enough and you approve, discuss your rules and expectations for using social media.

A great family contract for social media is here:


ggmathisG.G. Mathis is a mom, and preteen Bible study teacher. On days the Internet service is working, she writes and posts from Duenweg, Missouri—population 1,051.

Facebook Profiling: Express Yourself!

Have you read Kelly Mize’s article "Parenting by the (Face) Book" in the January 2010 issue of ParentLife? If not, be sure not to miss it! She covers the ins and outs of social networking. 

Are you considering joining Facebook, but aren’t sure where to start? Consider the following tips.


  • The profile information section shows what people will see. Begin by filling out the info that will help people identify you — Basic, Education, Work, and Picture.
  • Having a profile picture makes it easier for friends to identify you, especially if you have a common name. Pictures, like other information on Facebook can be changed easily. Click on the photo icon at the bottom of your profile page to upload or change photos.
  • To edit your profile at any time, click on the “Edit Information” link at the upper right corner of your Basic Info or click on the “edit” icons on the upper right corner of each of your profile fields. Filling out your Education and Work Info is especially helpful since it enables your former classmates and co-workers to find you when they search.

What do you think about social networking? Do you participate? What are the benefits and disadvantages? Do you find it helpful as a parent?