If you are a parent, perhaps you’ve wrestled with this thought at one point or another, “Am I doing enough for my kid?”

Those thoughts tend to creep into our minds, especially if our kids are struggling. Whether it be related to academic performance, their friendships (or lack of friendships), even their behaviors at home. “Is there something I could do to make things better for my child?”

Ask any special needs parent, and you might discover they wrestle with these thoughts often. Disability can be a daily struggle for our kids, and as their parents, we try to do whatever we can to help our kids. Maybe the solution is the new physical therapy approach that is helping many children with cerebral palsy, or the new speech program that is breaking through and getting non-verbal kids to talk! There is always something more we could be doing.

But we have more in common than you think, because we are parents, and because we want the best for our kids, regardless of their abilities.

So I say to you today, my fellow parent of typical children or children with special needs. Just love your kids, love them well, love them fierce.

There might be more than you and I can do, but what our kids need to most is our unconditional love. They need to know that we got their backs, that if they fall we’ll be there to catch them. If they struggle, we will gather around them and cheer them on. If they mess up, we’ll teach them the right way to follow. And they need to know we are their biggest and most devoted cheerleaders.

Every new day is an opportunity to show them that love, to build their character, to point their hearts and minds to a God that loves them far better than we can.

So let’s love our kids, love them well, and love them fierce!

Ellen Stumbo is a writer and speaker. She is the mother of three daughters: Ellie; Nichole, who has Down syndrome; and Nina, who was adopted and also has special needs. She is wife to Andy, a pastor. Visit her at ellenstumbo.com

For many parents of children with special needs, the Holidays can be quite challenging. The delightful Christmas gatherings and parties can quickly turn into sensory overload and meltdowns for the kids.

There are many special needs families that prefer to stay home rather than dealing with the stress of the festivities. But at home, they wish they could participate a little bit more in the Christmas cheer.

If you know a family that has a child with special needs, reach out to them in the next few days. Invite them over to your house, and ask if them if there is anything you can do to make your time together enjoyable. Believe me, special needs parents are hungry for friendship, and they are waiting for someone to reach out to them.

If you are a special needs family, know that I understand the challenges. I have two daughters with special needs, and one of them has a significant sensory processing disorder. But I want to speak to you, because sometimes we cannot wait for someone to reach out to us. Sometimes, we need to initiate.

Instead of waiting for an invitation, host a gathering and invite a family or two you are close to, or families you would like to get to know better. Tell them in advance about your kids, and ask them to bring something to share! The beauty of Christmas festivities is that many are willing to contribute a dish to a gathering.

Prepare your children! My husband is a pastor, and we recently hosted a Christmas open house at our house. Yes, it was a lot of work. And yes, we took a risk with our daughter, but we had a plan. She knew she could go to her room to be alone, bring the iPad, and watch a show. She didn’t need to go to her room, but she did sit on her own in the kitchen while everyone gathered in the living room.

Special needs parents often feel isolated. I encourage you this season to reach out. Reach out to just one other family, or friend. It might take some work, but it will be worth it!

Ellen Stumbo is a writer and speaker. She is the mother of three daughters: Ellie; Nichole, who has Down syndrome; and Nina, who was adopted and also has special needs. She is wife to Andy, a pastor. Visit her at ellenstumbo.com

October is Down syndrome Awareness month. Six years ago, I was aware that there was something called Down syndrome. Our close friends had a daughter with Down syndrome and I took care of her while her mom worked a part-time job. But two years later, when my daughter was born with Down syndrome, my awareness changed.

I was aware I did not want to have a baby with Down syndrome. I was aware of my broken dreams for our future. Aware that I had become a special needs mom without any say in the matter. I was aware that God had a plan, but I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

So I cried and shook my fist at God because I didn’t think I deserved a baby with Down syndrome. I lived my life to serve God, I was a pastor’s wife, why was He doing this to me? Why did He choose a broken baby for me? I wanted my baby to die because I couldn’t handle her diagnosis.

Then I got a call from my baby’s doctor, he was concerned about her health. A possibly terminal liver condition. Maybe she would die if we didn’t do something about it. And my awareness changed once more.

I became aware of how selfish I was. Aware of how little I knew about unconditional love, and how consumed I was with my grief. I became quite aware that my baby wasn’t broken. I was. So broken.

And then I chose love. With everything in me I was going to love my baby because I couldn’t bear the idea of standing before God without loving His child, the beloved He had entrusted to me. I had a change of heart. God was beginning to mend my brokenness.

Now, six years later, I am aware of how beautiful my daughter’s life is. I am aware that she brings me more joy and love I thought I could have in my life. I am aware of shades of color I never knew were possible. I am aware that there is love, oh so much love.

And I am aware that she is the little girl I always wanted. My pride. My joy. My heart.

To read more about this story, stop by HERE.

Ellen Stumbo is a writer and speaker. She is the mother of three daughters: Ellie; Nichole, who has Down syndrome; and Nina, who was adopted and also has special needs. She is wife to Andy, a pastor.