Grown-Up-ness by Jessie Weaver

I’ve wondered a lot lately what it means to be a grown-up.

Does becoming a parent automatically make you grow up? What about those who become parents at 13, 14, even 17? What is the bridge you have to cross in order to feel grown-up?

pic6.jpgAt 29, I’m still often confused that I have responsibility for two children and a household. I still picture myself as the shy 14-year-old girl that begged her mother to let her quit the magnet high school. The 15-year-old with a heart full of romantic hope but unkissed lips. Freshly 18, sweating against the wall as I wait for my college paperwork.

They say many people recall high school or college as the best years of their lives; and, while my college days are very dear to me, I can’t say that they are the highlight of my life. Doesn’t that put a limit on the future? Can shoving seven people in my red Eagle Vision to go through the Wendy’s drive-in compare to seeing the face of my daughter for the first time?

We spend life reconciling inside and outside, what we are and what we feel. I wonder if anyone ever truly feels like a grown-up. I thought I would: when I got married, when I had my first child, when I had two kids. It hasn’t happened yet. Has it for you?

(I touched on this topic by writing a poem on my main blog this week, and I’d love if you’d visit me over there as well!)

SNV32999 copy.jpgWhen Jessie Weaver is not busy being the resident ParentLife Blogger, she writes at Vanderbilt Wife and also for magazines like HomeLife and ParentLife. She lives in Chattanooga with her husband, where they run after two little ones: Libbie (2) and David (7 months). And yes, that picture is, in fact, of her, around age 14.


  1. I enjoyed my time in high school and college, and I have a lot of great memories of those days. I’ve never wished I could go back, though. I was always too uncertain and insecure about myself and life in general. Part of it is the hard won lessons learned along the way that have shaped who I am now. And as you mentioned- kids and family.
    I mostly feel like a grown-up (although sometimes I still wonder!) For me, it is being comfortable in my own skin, literally and figuratively. It came about over time as I had to stretch and grow and be responsible. I think some of it is realizing that you are not dependent on your parents any more.
    But it’s good to keep an ability to be a kid at heart. Sometimes you need to kick loose and have fun. Also, I always keep in mind that Jesus said that we need to come to him like children. We can’t grow up completely. 🙂

  2. I certainly felt like more of a grown up on certain occasions when I was younger than I do most of the time now!

Speak Your Mind