I’ve not been the best gift giver since my wife and I got married. When holidays, birthdays, and special occasions have come around, I’ve fallen short on many occasions. I even made my wife cry on one of her birthdays. I hate to, but I have to admit it—I struggle in this area.
I’ve gotten better over the years, but sometimes I wish I could have those missed opportunities back to give better gifts to my wife. While I’ve been subpar with my material gift giving, I think I’m pretty good in another area of gift giving.
And as I think about it, these gifts are way more valuable than any material gift I could give my wife. I think she’d agree. In fact, I think there are certain gifts that we all must give our spouses. And these gifts aren’t just to make them feel special on their birthday, on Christmas, or any other special occasion. These gifts will impact your relationship as a whole.
If you give these gifts to your spouse, but you slip up with an occasional “bad” material gift, your spouse may not be too disappointed. But if you give the greatest material gifts, but never give these gifts, your spouse may never be satisfied.
Whether you are a last minute Christmas shopper still looking to grab his or her Christmas gifts, or you prepared and purchased the gifts long ago, you can and should give the following gifts to your spouse this season and all year long.
The gift of time
The old adage is love is spelled T-I-M-E. That is so true, and a gift you must give to your spouse. Without time, he or she won’t have you to enjoy any other gifts you’ve given them. When you are consistently present with your spouse, you are giving them a gift that does not have a price tag. You are giving them a gift that cannot be replaced or redeemed again. You both have a limited amount of time, be sure to keep giving this precious gift to one another as much as you possibly can.
The gift of forgiveness
My wife forgave me for all my bad gifts and missed opportunities on those special days. I’ve forgiven her for many things as well. Forgiveness is an amazing gift that was first given to us by Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection. That is the most amazing gift we have been given, and it’s just about as amazing when we give it to our spouses. My wife and I both learned early in our marriage that we mess up, and sometimes a lot. But receiving the gift of forgiveness allows us to live without condemnation and to be free to make future mistakes which are inevitable, and know that our spouse will still love us despite our shortcomings.
The gift of love
Time spells love, but love requires action. Unless your primary love language is words of affirmation, saying “I love you” doesn’t do as much for you as when you actually do something to show it. This could be in the form of giving up something you really want for something your spouse wants. It can be patiently waiting for your spouse without complaining when he or she is constantly running behind. It could be returning a kind word when your spouse has chosen some not-so-kind words. It could be wiping the slate clean, not keeping score or a record of wrongs that your spouse has committed. And as you give your spouse this gift of love, you can rest assured knowing it’ll be given right back to you.
Whether you have given the most thoughtful, caring, or even expensive gifts to your spouse, don’t neglect the gifts mentioned above. I encourage you to give them today.
What is one more gift you must give to your spouse?
Jackie Bledsoe lost his job, and his family was homeless, yet he learned some of life’s most valuable lessons from it all. Losing his job changed his life and led him to a writing and speaking career. You can see his words in cool places like The Huffington Post, All Pro Dad, The Good Men Project, Disney’s Babble, as well as HomeLife and ParentLife Magazines (beginning January). His new book, The 7 Rings of Marriage, releases February 1, 2016. His goal is to help you better lead and love your family, so you can have a lasting and fulfilling marriage, and meaningful influence on your kids.
Learn more at JackieBledsoe.com/LifeWayWomen.
