Taking time for your nearest and dearest isn’t always easy. Life is busy and seems to be getting busier.
You work a full day, play with the kids, desire to rest for a moment, and then the next thing you know, you and your significant other are both asleep. There are sporting events, church functions, and much more that take up your time — many of which are good things.
Busyness can be dangerous, though, because often what’s squeezed out in a marriage is intimacy. And that can lead to feelings of a loveless marriage.
In a marriage, sexual intimacy is one of the most effective ways to express love for each other. Though sexual intimacy is important, busyness can take away the opportunity for talking as well. Talking is a form of intimacy that’s also necessary in marriage. To pursue love means to pursue each other physically, emotionally, and relationally.
And in the pursuit, you may encounter bitterness, which is often linked to unforgiveness. Perhaps you’ve had an ongoing concern that’s never been resolved. Maybe there’s a desire that your spouse hasn’t fulfilled.
Paul instructs you to fight it: “All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ” (Ephesians 4:31-32). God calls you to extend forgiveness as He has forgiven you.
Jesus is the supreme example of love. He supplies the strength in which to love. Jesus gave up His life on a cross, bearing the full wrath of God that we deserved. Scripture tells us that Jesus died, not for friends, but for enemies (Romans 5:7-8). Where there is temptation, He provides escape (1 Corinthians 10:13). And He calls us to selfless love. By His grace, you can love the one you’re with till death do you part.
If you or someone you know needs a place to start, check out Love for a Lifetime by Dr. James Dobson, The Art of Marriage, and Marriage Getaways—a weekend event for just the two of you.
Adapted from HomeLife Magazine
Trillia Newbill is the author of United: Captured by God’s Vision for Diversity (Moody Publishers, March 2014). Her writings on issues of faith, family, and diversity have been published in the Knoxville News-Sentinel, Desiring God, True Woman, The Resurgance, HomeLife Magazine, The Gospel Coalition, and more. She currently is the consultant on Women’s Initiatives for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission for the Southern Baptist Convention. Newbelll is the Lead Editor of Karis, the women’s channel for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. In November 2011, she launched a Christian women’s blog-style e-zine, Women of God Magazine, where she was the managing editor. Her greatest love besides God is her family. She is married to her best friend and love, Thern. They reside with their two children near Nashville, TN.