Are Your Women’s Leaders Emotionally Healthy?


If you’ve read this blog often, you are familiar with this drill.  Jump over and read this post by Dr. Chuck Lawless on Dr. Thom Rainer’s blog: Eight Ways to Spot Emotionally Healthy Pastors and Staff.  Then come back and let’s relate those 8 points to women’s leaders.  (It might not hurt to also evaluate yourself as you evaluate your leaders!)

1. Does she constantly compare herself to others?

I find myself doing this same thing. If I speak on the same platform as someone God is using in a big way, I often wonder if God is using me the same way.  That is not the question we should ask. We only need to ask God what He desires.  And are we trusting He will provide all we need to do what HE has asked?

2. Does she have a victim mentality?

Do we waste valuable time having major pity parties? Do we always feel as though someone is out to get us?  Does everyone else around you have it better than you do? Leaders’ time is better spent focusing on relationship with Christ and allowing Him to guide through each assignment He gives us.

3. Do you hear about forgiveness when talking to her?

How forgiving are you leaders?  How forgiving are you? Resentment can be like a blight in ministry. Be sure leaders’ hearts are loving and forgiving of others.

4. Does she need to be the center of attention?

Sometimes ministry is focused on a personality of the messenger rather than the message from God. If you or your leaders are always looking for praise and admiration, something is not healthy. Focus should be on the other person and on God’s glory not our own.

5. Can she say “no”?

Years ago, I learned that it’s ok to say no even to something that is worthy of my time, IF God has not called me to that assignment. Often I was overcommitted and my family suffered. I also realized that I might be taking someone else’s place by saying yes…someone God has called and equipped to handle the responsibility.  If you or your leaders tend to do this, ask why! Again, if it’s not out of obedience and for God’s glory, we need to say no.

6. Is she high on the “drama meter”?

How much drama do you experience on your team?  Who is the drama queen? (I’m SURE it’s not you!). So much time and energy are spent on drama that could be spent in more productive ways. Perhaps a one on one with the drama queen(s) is in order.  Drama occasionally is one thing, but if it’s recurrent, the peace of Christ is missing.

7. Does she have a record of giving back and giving his or her all?

Have you led your team to be a “servant team”? Is that the heart of your ministry? When our new women’s minister began leading our team, her first focus was washing our feet and teaching us to wash the feet of our women. She has led our team to be not a leadership team but a servant team to the women in our church and community.

8. Does she know that joy is a choice?

We never have full control over our lives…that’s God’s job!  But we have control over our actions and reactions. If we always see the glass half empty, we will not experience the joy that comes from all God is doing and not focusing mainly on what He is NOT doing we think He should be doing.  Joy truly is a choice and if we lead with joy, our teams will serve with joy as well. Be the example that Christ was, “who for the joy set before Him, endure the cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” (Hebrews 12:2)


  1. Chris Adams says

    So grateful this is helpful! Dr. Rainer’s blog is so helpful to leaders! And easy to connect those posts to women’s leaders!

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