When February rolls around, hearts turn toward love.
I’ve often thought how wonderful it would be if every month had a Valentine’s Day and a Christmas Day. Of course, for the Christian, our love for God and for each other shouldn’t be limited to a single day. It should be a way of life.
When it comes to marriage, nothing is more important than remembering that love is daily. What does it look like when love reigns in a marriage relationship? At the risk of being simplistic, I want to use an acrostic to share four fundamental aspects of love.
Long on Patience
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul simply says, “Love is patient” (v. 4). Recently, I visited the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, N.C. While there, I went to Ruth Graham’s gravesite. The tombstone reads, “End of construction. Thank you for your patience.”
The fact is, all of us are under construction. Our goal is to become Christ-like in all of our thoughts and actions, but most of us have plenty of room for improvement.
Your spouse is also under construction. Maybe God is still tearing down the rubble in his life, getting ready to build a magnificent building. Or perhaps the foundation has been laid in your spouse’s heart having already accepted Christ, but the lifestyle is far from Christ-like.
Open to Correction
Scripture indicates that a wise man will be open to instruction (Proverbs 9:9). Instruction involves two things: giving information and correcting misinformation and misconduct. All of us need to be corrected from time to time. John said, “If we say, ‘We have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves.'” (1 John 1:8).
God often corrects His children through His word: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). The wise Christian will be open to the correction of God and willing to make course corrections with the aid of the Holy Spirit.
Verbally Kind
Again, in Paul’s great discourse on love found in 1 Corinthians 13, he says, “. . . love is kind . . .” (vs. 4).
Kindness is saying or doing something for the benefit of the other person. It grows out of a recognition that every human is made in the image of God, and is therefore, extremely valuable. In marriage, couples should treat each other with respect and kindness, realizing that when you’re kind to each other, you’re pleasing God.
Some of us grew up in home where family members spoke harshly to one another. Loud, harsh words spoken to a spouse aren’t kind. They strike at the heart of your spouse like a spear entering the flesh. Such pain doesn’t heal with the passing of time. It heals when you recognize your failure, offer a sincere apology, and hope for forgiveness.
Eternally Grateful
When you learn the attitude of love, you’ll view your spouse as a gift from God and your heart will be lifted in gratitude to Him. You’ll also express that gratitude to your spouse. In most marriages, there are many things for which you can genuinely express gratitude and appreciation.
Someone is buying food, preparing meals, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, doing laundry, washing the car, mowing the grass, trimming the shrubs, giving the children a bath, cleaning the toilet, and getting white spots off the mirror.
Many people often take these things for granted. You may sometimes go days without expressing appreciation. But if you’re growing in love, your mind is alert to the positive traits and behaviors of your spouse. Take every opportunity to verbally communicate your gratitude for all that your spouse does for you and for others.
If you’re long on patience, open to correction, verbally kind, and eternally grateful, you’re a loving person, and there’s every possibility that your life will stimulate the loving response of your spouse.
Don’t wait for your spouse to love you, but follow the example of God and love your spouse, even if he or she is unlovely (Romans 5:8).
Article courtesy of HomeLife Magazine
Gary Chapaman, Ph. D., hosts two national radio programs: A Love Language Minute and Building Relationships—both are on the Moody Broadcasting Network and can be downloaded at 5lovelanguages.com. You can follow Gary on Twitter @DrGaryChapman.
