We’re constantly trying to find new ways to reach women where they are, and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult. As culture shifts, so do the needs of women. No matter what your age may be, women are still women and we are always going to need other women in our lives. Here are 10 ways to meet women where they are:

  1. Don’t assume anything. We often look at women and assume that they already have enough friends or they don’t have enough time. Looks can be deceiving! Maybe she has a lot of acquaintances, but is longing for a real friend. It could be you!
  2. Ask. Ask her to go places with you and be in your life. The worst thing they can do is say “No.”
  3. Keep asking. Unless someone tells you to stop asking, keep extending the ask. Sometimes it just takes a few attempts and the right thing to grab her attention. Don’t just quit asking because she turned you down the first time.
  4. Do life together. One of the sweetest parts of friendship is knowing the day-to-day happenings of the other women in your life. The mundane can be, well, mundane, and it  can be so much more rich in community. This also happens in the good, the bad, and the ugly times. Life is messy, and we all need other women in our lives who just know us to walk with us through it all.
  5. Be real. Last week, I heard Pete Wilson (pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville) say, “Authenticity is the cry of all, but the game of few.” While we often claim authenticity, we still try to prove ourselves and often end up being someone we’re not. Just be you, and she’ll love you for it.
  6. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Some of my dearest friends are ones that I initially thought I had nothing in common with, but was so wrong. When my friend Christie and I met while I was in college, she was a newlywed and I learned that she had majored in math in college. I was single, and lets just face it, I still hate math. I literally thought we had nothing in common except for Jesus, but boy, was I wrong! Nine years later, I’m in the airport waiting to board a plane to visit her and her family (5 kids!) and couldn’t love her more, even though our everyday lives look so different.
  7. Pray for her. Don’t just ask how you can pray for her… actually pray for her and pray with her if the Holy Spirit leads you to. Be willing to go to battle with her through prayer, whether she ever knows it or not.
  8. Speak truth. The truth can hurt, but find ways to speak it in love. Be honest, but be kind in how you approach challenging conversations and situations. It can feel risky, but seek the Lord before you speak. Make sure you’re not speaking out of your flesh, but you’re listening to the Holy Spirit. My closest friends are the ones who are willing to speak truth into my life.
  9. Love her right where she is. It’s not our job to fix anyone or change her, but we are called to love her. Be the kind of woman who is steadfast in her life, whether she has a relationship with Jesus or not. Walk with her, pray for her, and just love on her.
  10. Be Jesus to her. Take her a meal. Watch her kids. Listen to her. Cry with her. Laugh with her. Show up. Just be there. When you can, put your needs aside and just be Jesus to her. You don’t have to provide answers or a solution, but point her to the One who can.

At the end of the day, we are called to meet other women at the point of their need. Philippians 2:1-8 paints a beautiful picture of how to treat the people in our lives. If we truly are putting the needs of others above our own, it will show through our actions. Our role is to step in, stand in the gap, and offer them a cold cup of water in the name of Jesus Christ (Matthew 10:42). We often over-complicate things that are really simple, and sometimes it just takes one step in the right direction on our part. It might be hard, but it’s absolutely worth it.

Mary Margaret headshotMary Margaret is an Event Project Coordinator on the Church Education Ministry team at LifeWay. She works alongside Chris Adams and coordinates training events for women’s ministry leaders like YOU Lead and the Women’s Ministry Forum. Mary Margaret has served several churches in the area of Girls Ministry and she recently completed a Master of Arts in Christian Education at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. In her spare time, she writes for Story of My Life – her personal blog.

Comments

  1. Mary … number 10 is my most favorite … and most of the time we just need to be the one that says YES.

    • Mary Margaret Collingsworth says:

      Sonya, you’re so right! Saying Yes is huge – it’s easy to let ourselves be too busy!

  2. Mary,
    What good advice. I especially agree with # 9. Too many times we allow the relationship to fade away because we don’t think a woman is ‘coming along’ as we think she should. I know a couple of women who prayed for many years for someone they befriended before seeing any real changes. ‘Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.’ I find this a very encouraging scripture when I am tempted to give up on someone. Thank you for the article. Kristi

  3. What great words, MM. Also, I saw what you did there on #9. :-)
    Thank you for being all of these things in my life! Love you!

  4. Great ideas to be intentional about connecting with women. Thanks, Mary Margaret!

  5. MM! I totally love you for this! My favorite is to keep asking unless she asks you to stop! :) This is so true! Women want friends and we want to be asked to hang out! Grateful for you and your friendship in my life and others! You go you little truth sharer!

  6. Great words! Thanks for sharing !

  7. Katherine says:

    I feel as an adult woman it is very difficult to make friends. It is easy to have acquaintances, but most women don’t seem to want to take the time and effort to develop authentic relationships, even within the church.

    • Mary Margaret Collingsworth says:

      Katherine, it can definitely be hard! It’s absolutely worth the effort though. I’ve heard it said that “authenticity breeds authenticity,” so keep at it.

  8. Great list and great advice for women in your life who are easy and difficult to love!

  9. Jennifer Price says:

    MM,
    I love this so much! You are and do all of these things, and I’m so thankful to have you in my life!

  10. Amy Tyner says:

    Thank you for ur words. Fabulous article and great reminders to women of all ages that we need girlfriends. I work with the 7th grade girls at our church and I try to instill the importance of their female relationships as we live life together.

    • Mary Margaret Collingsworth says:

      Amy, I’m so glad it was helpful! I’ve worked in Student Ministry for several years and it’s so crucial that they learn basics like this at such a young age. Thank you for investing in the lives of teenage girls!

  11. Gerri Williamson says:

    Thanks for sharing your great ideas for reaching out to women…I loved this! I’ve always tried to be a friend who loves unconditionally and have seen the fruit of this. Sometimes, we are tempted to give up but we must always love people just as Jesus would..God bless you!

  12. Fall is just beautiful.

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