She sits on the edge of the crowd. The trials she has overcome, the difficulties combated, sketched across her face. The women have been talking all around her. Just as the conversation seems to be coming to a close, she speaks.
Weak. Barely above a whisper. She says, “I’ve learned that despite the way I feel, His love never changes.”
When the conversation ends, I want to run over and hug her. Oh, have I have ever been there?! I want her to know she is not alone and that I am proud of the strength and dignity she has displayed. That was not an easy task making herself known among these women, deeply; only to be swept aside moments later.
There are days when I, too, feel as if all hope is gone. I must speak truth into my own heart. He does not change like my crazy emotions; one day they are steady and sure and the next they are tossed to and fro by the wind. But, how can I do that if I don’t know who He is?
I need truth. I need hope. I need life breathed into these skeleton bones that are far too easily swayed to believe the lies of the evil one, having been convinced I need what the world has to offer or even worse that I can work my way toward pleasing my Savior.
What do I do with moments like these which sometimes turn into days like these?
When tempted by Satan, Jesus chose to quote the Word. “Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matt 4:4) If this is true of Jesus, how much more do I need to cling to and use as my defense the very words of God?
But, in order to use them to battle against the evil one and the sin that so easily entangles me, I also need to read His word. I need to read His word and hide it in my heart. So, as battles rage lately, I’m not going down without a fight. And, how do I fight?
By spending extra time in His word. Being intentional about the time spent in His word and acknowledging that He alone does the work of changing me. By learning to adore the very one of whom the scriptures speak. By listing 10,000 reasons for my heart to find.
And, I bend. I bend low in prayer. We have the opportunity to worship and commune with the very King who created us. That alone should bring us great joy. Paul ends the instructions on the Armor of God with the following instructions, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” (Ephesians 6:18) We must take our responsibility and privilege of prayer seriously.
I don’t have all the answers. In fact, most days, it feels like I have none.
Yet, I am convinced that learning to trust and adore Him, to believe that He never changes even when my emotions are taken hostage on a raging roller coaster ride, is paramount. Sometimes these are small steps and that’s ok. Because, it’s not about anything but resting…. resting in truth and speaking that truth into the people around us.
Sarah James is a fifth grade teacher in Florida and serves students and young adults at First Baptist Church Merritt Island. You can read more from Sarah on her blog and follow her on Twitter @justsarahsmiles.