When Your Mind (and Husband) Are Driving You Crazy

Today’s post is from Debbie Wilson. Debbie and her husband Steve founded Marriage Matters Now, a ministry committed to helping couples strengthen their marriages through the power of the Gospel. You can catch Steve and Debbie April 12-13 for the Festivals of Marriage Simulcast.

One of the largest obstacles in marriage is the mind. Anyone out there know what I’m saying?

And did you know that the human brain processes about 70,000 thoughts each day? The scary part is that about 80% of those thoughts are negative.

Now that should get your attention.

The mind is like a ping pong ball bouncing around from one thought to another. It can all become so confusing, and I truly believe that Satan uses it to keep us off course.

Years ago, I allowed negative thoughts to consume my mind about my husband Steve.  I would compare, criticize, and find fault in him, which led to major discouragement about our marriage. I was distant and detached and started to believe that he was not what I thought I wanted in a husband. I was convinced that there was someone else out there for me.

And as I look back on that time, I think about how ridiculous my thinking was.


“I’d say you would do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized.  Do that, and God, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” – Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

So what can you do when you catch your mind drifting toward the negative? Consider these four things:

  1. Recognize that your mind is more powerful that you realize. God made it that way.  Reign in your mind and dwell on truth. Find scriptures that speak truth into your life and put them to memory.
  2. Make a list of the qualities in your husband that you cherish. Put that list in a place where you look often (a mirror, your Bible, or maybe your phone).
  3. Picking out the faults in others comes from a place of brokenness and insecurity. Ask God to show you how much He loves you and dwell on that. He won’t ignore a heart that is steadfast for Him.
  4. When you start to think about something negative, train your mind to stop and pray. Take captive those thoughts that don’t please Him, and He will honor your obedience.


  1. Linda Trammell says

    I love the sentence, “Reign in your mind and dwell on truth.” Also you were spot on when you said, “Picking out faults comes from a place of brokenness and insecurity.” When we are insecure, we don’t believe the truth God says about us. God’s truth will never lead us astray and is worthy of a tight grip! I’ve heard an old saying several times over my 43 years of marriage – “If everyone took their old husband and lined them up against every one else’s old husband, after seeing your choices, you would praise God, to bring home the one you already have!!!” God is good and knows what is good for each of us!

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