Myth: The Pastor’s Wife Should Always Lead the Women’s Ministry


Of course, and play the piano and teach the children and cook a big Sunday meal for anyone and, and and…..Right!

OK, seriously, if this is your assumption, then you must also thing each woman in the church has a pre-arranged ministry to lead and you know just what it is!  How many of us, pastor’s wife or not, have served out of obligation or “because someone else wouldn’t volunteer?” Probably all of us!

At times, there is just some work that has to get done in church, but if we are spending most of our time and resources where we are not gifted and passionate, we will burn out quickly. We will also not be investing our time in the place that has most significance, or as some say, ROI (return on investment). Now, I am not saying that we must serve in some areas out of necessity, but I am saying that should not be where we spend the majority of our time and effort. The same is true for the pastor’s wife.

We should never assume because she is a woman in that position that she is “supposed” to lead women. She may have a calling to lead women and know what God has designed her to do, but we just cannot assume it. Years ago when our new pastor came on staff while I was in Texas, we desired that she serve on our women’s leadership team because our previous pastor’s wife had and we desired her insight and influence. But as we got to know her, we discovered her passion was young adult couples. She had led in that area before and felt God had truly called her to invest in these young marrieds.  So, she sat as an advisor on our team when she could, and she opened most of our events with welcome and a story with spiritual significance. She was great at that and loved to do it.

Let’s give our pastor’s wives a break, get to know them, love on them, support them in whatever God has called them to do. Pray into position the women God is calling for each leadership position with your women’s team.

For more on calling and leadership passion, see blog posts for Jan. 6, 9, and 13. Or check out these resources below.



Is God Calling Me, Jeff Iorg

The Power of the Call, Henry T. Blackaby & Henry Brandt

Beautifully Gifted: Equipping Today’s Women for the High Calling of God, Angela Bisignano

Women Reaching Women, Chris Adams




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