Minister’s Wives, Your Kids Need You

Lisa Whittle.jpg

Today you will hear from guest blogger and PK Lisa Whittle. She shares some great thoughts about being in ministry and ministering to your kids in the post.

Ministry moms, there are some things your kids need you to know…

Your husband is important.  People admire you.  But in every way, your role at home to your family is your greatest ministry.

As a pastor’s kid myself, I have lived the feelings that accompany the position.  It is a unique experience that only those who have been in can truly and fully understand.

I don’t presume to know everything your kids may feel.  But with a great deal of love and empathy, I sit among those who seek to be their mouthpiece. 

As you read through these “needs,” I hope you will hear the voice of your own kids speaking them to you…to help you personalize these things that are at the core of their heart.  They are things I think you will want to know.


~I need for your faith to be real. Your child longs for you and your husband to live out the truth he speaks on Sundays.  Nothing will mess up their faith more than to see an inconsistency in the way you say one thing but live another.  You don’t need to be perfect.  They just need you to be honest.

~I need for you to keep me from feeling entitled.  It’s a reality: your husband’s position opens up opportunity for your kids to have access to things that make them feel important.  It is a part of what he does, that you will be offered perks not afforded to others.  One of the best things you can do for your kids is keeping them in check by giving them ways to serve and be humble.  Let them feel special, but do not let them become prideful. Your attitude about your husband’s ministry position (and his, as well) will speak the loudest.

~I need for you to help me understand that I am not defined by what my father does. Your husband’s position brings with it the tendency toward a skewed identity within your kids.  You should never apologize for what God has called him to do…but you have to help your kids see it as a role and not a definition.  Just as it can’t define his worth or yours, so it shouldn’t define theirs.  Having watched my father lose his role, leaving a teenaged me to question mine, I know firsthand how important it is to help your kids see themselves for who they really are apart from anything else.
The truth is, these “needs” are important for all parents of any kids to know.  But for a pastor’s family, who is used to having the light of the position…the importance to stay grounded and know who we are apart from our roles is vital.  It will be what helps our kids not just see themselves as part of a ministry package — born with a role to play and a job to do — but a person with a great future of service to God.

Minister to your kids, first, and they just may help change the world.


Lisa Whittle is the author of three books, including her latest, {w}hole, releasing in late September 2011. A fresh, bold voice in the Christian community, she is a speaker, ministry leader, and pastor’s daughter with deep rooted history in the church. Her past experiences include writing stints with Catalyst Leader and Women of Faith, church planting, national media appearances, and traveling with Compassion International. She speaks to audiences across the United States, inspiring conversations of wholeness in the church by the transparent sharing of her own truth, first.  Lisa’s other passions include conversations that dip below the surface, watching The Food Network, and her Jesus who makes all things well. Lisa is a wife and a mother of three whoresides in North Carolina. Visit her online at


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *