Thoughts on Being a Minister’s Wife from a Minister’s Wife

wedding rings and Bible.jpgI recently interviewed Jane Crick, a minister’s wife from Saddleback Church , Lake Forest, California.   Her husband, Tom, is the director of Men’s Ministry at Saddleback Church.  I ask her some thought provoking questions and want to share her responses to them on this post.

What is one of the best things about being a minister’s wife?
Knowing that my husband is following God’s will for his life. It is such a refreshing and positive thing in our relationship.  People are watching my actions as a woman, wife and mom. To have the opportunity to be real, authentic and “normal” to the public. It’s God that is perfect in me, not me.

What is one of the hardest about being a minister’s wife?
The misunderstanding that we have it all together and our lives are perfect.

What special things have you found you can do to help support your husband in ministry?

Be fully interested in what his day was like. When there is too much talk about the ministry work, I am able to communicate, “Okay, can we talk about something totally different?” It isn’t often but sometimes there is just “too much” talk about ministry. Building him up when he goes into self-doubt mode, by hearing, listening and affirming what a man he really is to me, and definitely is in Christ.

How do you and your husband separate yourselves from the ministry and work on your marriage?
Ministry and marriage are the same to us. In order for us to fully serve, we are constantly doing marriage devotions, taking about how God is working, or how we can’t quite get what God is teaching each of us.  Within our small group that meets weekly, we do couples studies. Each one of us has an accountability partner. It is crucial for me to have another woman that knows all my fears and worries, and will always pray me up and just listen to me when I have a complaint about marriage, me, or Tom.

What do you do to keep from burning out?

Seriously, and intentionally, I treat my relationship with God like oxygen. I need it to live and have gotten up daily for over a decade to have my quiet time. Working out and eating right are other components. We have been known, on the weekend, to not open the drapes, to stay in our PJs, watch DVDs all day, turn off our electronics and just truly rest and enjoy one another’s company.

Do you include your children in the ministry?  How or why not?

We have adult children now and yes we still do. We tell them when our home is going to be used and they need to stay in their room or be extremely quiet on those nights. I share with them that I made dessert for so and so, and I made extra for you guys – dig in. This past Easter event my husband was in charge of curriculum distribution at our 30 year church celebration that was held at Angels Stadium. Our oldest child Sonja came along to shadow her Dad. She didn’t realize Dad had such an important role. It was sweet to hear what the kids think of the ministry we do.

How do you handle things people tell you to tell your husband?

I rarely become the 3rd party. I will equip them with my husband’s email and cell number and ask them to connect with him directly.

Can you worship on Sundays or is it a workday?  If you worship, what has helped you do that?

My husbands work day is Saturday. When we go to church we sit among the congregation for our worship time.

What do you enjoy the most about being in ministry with your husband?
The peace that it brings relationally is mind blowing. To know that when a day is over we truly have served God and made Him number 1 in our lives.

 JaneCrick2010.jpgJane Crick has been a pastor’s wife for the last 8 years. She served on the Administrative Team of the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church 1996 to 2007 and has served as a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier since 2002. Jane enjoys being with women one-on-one to help them see God working in their lives and especially loves sharing and caring for women in their role as a godly wife. She is serving at Saddleback Church as a mentor mom to pastors’ wives at their Treasured Ministry.  Serving with her husband of 31 plus years, they mentor young couples whether they have been married for the first time or for the fourth time. Their goal is to walk with them for a season to help them to flourish on their own, encouraging them to do the same with other couples in need. Jane is currently working part-time for the pastor at a non-profit organization called Search Ministries and is pursuing continuing education. She and Tom live in Mission Viejo, California with their two children Sonja & Teddy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *