When we think of adoption and the part women’s ministry plays in helping, there are many issues to consider. When my husband and I adopted in 1977, the main options we had were domestic, Caucasian because we were Caucasian and closed. Today there are so many kinds of adoption: domestic, international, open adoptions and embryo adoptions. Also, not all couples are young. Many are adopting later in life, sometimes after their children are grown.
Issues to consider:
1. Expenses involved in adoption.
2. Whether or not both spouses agree about adopting.
3. Not knowing when/if they will receive a child.
4. Whether to have an open or closed adoption, if there is a choice.
5. Adoption of an older child who may have special needs.
What to do:
1. Consider a church adoption ministry. Many churches today are offering help in placing children into the homes of church members.
2. Share local resources. Connect with local human services, crisis pregnancy centers and international organizations to be aware of children who need homes.
3. Know Christian counselors and connect couples with help.
For several of us who took part in the web cast in June 2010, we had the blessings of adopting these precious children. Mine was a domestic adoption, while the other two moms adopted internationally. Not all desire for a child will end in adoption, but help couples discover information, resources, and connections that will help them know what they might do, and then pray with them about their specific purpose in God’s plan for their family.
For those who do adopt, perhaps they are like I was. I thought all I had to do was love them immensely, love the Lord and teach them to follow God and all would be well. We could handle anything, and they would be just fine. But that is not always the case. One of our twins had to deal with a lot of soul-searching and pain, including rebellion, to discover how much God really did love her. She walked a tough journey discovering God’s purpose for her life. We need to be sensitive to mothers who have adopted and who may be dealing with challenges in raising their children.
Issues to consider regarding the adopted children:
· Many will experience abandonment from their biological mother.
· Some will show signs of insecurities.
· Other emotions they might exhibit are guilt, confusion, anger and fear.
Help moms to:
· Not give up
· Keep praying
· Release their child into God’s hands
· Network with other adoptive moms
How is your women’s ministry helping adoptive moms? Please share your ideas in the comments box.
See the recent live web cast on the topic of infertility, miscarriage and adoption: scroll down to June 8.
National Adoption Center, 800.862.3678