Ever do something for your husband thinking it would show him how much you love him but he didn’t seem to get it? Or do you wish he would show you his love for you in a specific way but he never does?
At a Marriage Monday meeting of our women’s team, we discussed something that changed one of our member’s marriage completely! Melissa facilitated our meeting this week and shared how God had opened her eyes to how to bless her husband and how he was blessing her without her really knowing it. She shared a book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you aren’t familiar with this book, the concept is that everyone has a love language: acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time or gifts. Normally we try to show our spouse love using our own love language rather than his. The ideal is to find out your man’s language and use that to show you love him.
Melissa shared an assessment with us so we could discover our own love language. There is one assessment for the wife and another for the husband.
I have known for a long time that my husband wants words of affirmation. He has a strong reaction to criticism or what even appears criticism. Because respect is the most important need a man has, this should be obvious to me. Sometimes my words are thoughtless and can bite deep without my even meaning to. I want to be proactive in finding ways to say how much he means to me, how important he is, and especially what a great “handy man” and I try to tell him often what that means to me. It’s even better to tell him in front of others.
I think I am pretty mixed up because I want it all! All five love languages! But my highest was a tie between acts of service and quality time. We were given the assignment to discover our husband’s love language and to make sure he knows ours before our next meeting. As we know their love language, we are to speak that language daily to our guys.
Can you imagine a better way to say Happy Valentine’s Day? What are you doing to communicate to your man in a practical way just how much you love him? Share your ideas in the comments box.
*Marriage Monday is a meeting of women at our office who want to grow strong marriages. We meet every couple of weeks to discuss what’s going on and we share ideas and learn from one another’s experiences as we seek to be godly wives.