Pregnant Surprises by Jessie Weaver

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I’m writing this six weeks before my March 21 due date, but as you read it, we may or may not have welcome our third child, Joshua, into the world.

This pregnancy was a surprise for us, and everything after that plus sign appeared has been surprising as well. My strange, on-and-off sickness made itself known until 22 weeks. I went into our “big” ultrasound 100% convinced we had a baby Katie in there … oops. At 31 weeks, my hip and back started acting up to the point of putting me on modified bedrest (with a preschooler and a toddler and no local family). And at 34 weeks, I’ve started feeling the end-of-pregnancy sick already, making it difficult to eat anything.

While none of my pregnancies have been peaches and sunshine, this one has been especially tumultuous for me.

I can’t say I enjoy pregnancy, although I am grateful to have healthy ones with healthy babies thus far.

It’s easy for me to float away spiritually when I feel bodily miserable, too. I “reward” my pain with too much television and novel-reading, ignoring the Bible on my bedside table. My back makes it difficult for me to sit through a whole church service, so my soul has been without many sermons.

Yet, is there a better time to really cling to the Word and what He has to say about parenting and children?

Do you have any advice for pregnant mommies who struggle like I do? How do you stay focused on God while your body is a constant reminder of earthly pains and issues?

Jessie Weaver is the resident ParentLife blogger. She is a freelance writer who lives in Chattanooga with her husband and two kids (2 and 4) plus one on the way!

Pregnant Parenting by Jessie Weaver

Being pregnant is not my talent.

I am a great newborn mother. I nurse with ease, love to snuggle, and deal relatively well with little sleep. I know many parents don’t care for the infancy stage, but I LOVE it. I am always happy to just hold a baby.

But pregnancy does not agree with me. I haven’t had scary pregnancies, or bedrest, or premature births. I just spend nine months sick, exhausted, in some sort of back pain, with severe acid reflux. I like baby kicks … but that’s about it.

So now, in my third pregnancy, I am trying to find ways to be a decent mother while getting through another 9-month period of The Grumps. Here’s a few things I’ve come up with.

Let It Slide

My main job is to take care of my kids and make sure they are eating, sleeping, and breathing, right? If I have to turn to Chef Boyardee instead of cooking from scratch, it’s OK. A little extra TV won’t kill them. Making sure they – and I – get some fresh air is a good goal for the day.

Housework is not my priority, and I will do what I can when I can.

Snuggles

I’m spending extra time cuddling the little ones. Today my almost-4-year-old daughter and I gave up naptime to watch a movie and snuggle. She was thrilled with the one-on-one time, and I got to lay on the couch and still be an awesome mommy.

Reading

One thing I can do quite efficiently while hardly moving is read my kids piles of books. We read, talk about pictures and stories, and make up new stories. They are really into coloring, so any related coloring activities are good, too!

 

Your turn: What’s your secret for when you are too tired/sick/pregnant to parent as you normally would?

Jessie Weaver is the resident ParentLife blogger. She is a freelance writer who lives in Chattanooga with her husband and two kids (1 and 3) plus one on the way!

Growth Spurts: On the Way

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In our October 2012 issue, you can learn about childbirth class and not smoking on our Growth Spurts: On the Way page. Here are a few more pointers we couldn’t squeeze in the magazine.

Gestational Diabetes

Gestational diabetes shows up as a complication for some mothers during pregnancy. Your doctor will test you between weeks 24 and 28. Typically, you can control gestational diabetes with a healthy lifestyle.

  • Eat healthy foods. If you test positive for gestational diabetes, your health care team can help create healthy meal plans for the duration of your pregnancy.
  • Exercise regularly. Exercise helps keep blood sugar under control. Consult with your doctor about how often to exercise and what types of exercise are appropriate for you.
  • Monitor blood sugar. Your blood sugar levels can change quickly. Check with your doctor about how often to check your blood sugar.
  • Take insulin. Sometimes pregnant women with gestational diabetes need to take insulin. Take insulin only as directed by your doctor.
  • Get tested after pregnancy. Get tested for diabetes again 6 to 12 weeks after delivery and then every 1 to 3 years. Typically, gestational diabetes goes away after delivery. However, 50 percent of women with gestational diabetes develop Type 2 diabetes later in life. Consult with your doctor about being retested and continue maintaining a healthy lifestyle of eating well and exercising.

DOCTOR Appointments

Mom, be prepared to attend several doctor’s appointments. The first visits will be scattered apart with a preliminary ultrasound to confirm the baby’s heartbeat. The appointments will become more frequent the closer you get to your due date.

 

Are you pregnant? If so, how far along? I (Jessie) am almost 16 weeks with my third baby. I’ve found lemon-lime glucose drink is the trick to having the gestational diabetes test without gagging!

You Know You’re a Mom When …

June_22_rubberduck.jpgOn several occasions in the not-so-distant past, I’ve found myself chuckling over the strange characteristics that mark motherhood. You know … the things you never could have imagined or understood before having kids.

I’ll give you two personal examples:

1. Several months ago, I was digging for something in the bottom of my purse and I pulled out a rubber duck. That probably doesn’t happen to many women without children!

2. A few weeks ago, our department was given the opportunity to leave work a couple of hours early before a holiday weekend. Do you know what I did with my time off? I went grocery shopping … and I was excited about it! Why? Because I didn’t have my toddler in tow! Three and a half years ago, I could not have imagined being that excited about grocery shopping!

Knowing I’m not the only one who thinks about these kind of things, I decided to ask my Facebook friends to finish this sentence: You know you’re a mom when …

I LOVE the responses I got and wanted to share them with you.

Some made me literally laugh out loud!!

… you speak in five-word sentences. "Would you like some juice?" "Do you need to potty?" "We do not eat rocks."

… you automatically cut everyone’s food into small pieces, even the grownups.

… you find yourself watching Sesame Street and you are the only one in the room.

… you unconsciously think in rhymes (due to reading too many Dr Seuss books)!

… you tell other adults that you will be right back because you need to "go pee-pee in the potty."

… you catch yourself singing the Wonder Pets theme song in the shower.

… you know every word to every VeggieTales video but have trouble recalling what you did last week.

… you accidentally dilute your own apple juice … and drink it anyway.

… you share bites of your meal even though they have the exact same thing on their plates.

… there are rocks in the dryer and clothes in the driveway.

… you have to weed through the action figures in your purse to find your lipstick.

… ketchup on the ceiling does not surprise you in the least.

… you tell time by which cartoon is on.

… you understand the language of toddler speak.

Others were responses I knew every mother could relate to: 

… you’re exhausted, ready for a nap, and your toddlers are running laps around you!

… you can’t use the bathroom or take a shower without being interrupted.

… you hear yourself giving the same sound advice or warning to your children that your parents gave you … even the phrases you swore you would never say!

… you catch your child’s throw-up in a store.

… things that used to gross you out dont’t phase you anymore!

… getting up at 7 is sleeping in.

And others warmed my heart and made me smile!

… you look at all your grandchildren and say, "It was all worth it".

… when you look at that little gift of God and nothing else seems as important anymore. 

… you can see your heart walking around OUTSIDE your body!

Now it’s your turn. Leave us a comment finishing this sentence. You know you’re a parent when … . I can’t wait to read your responses!

Sick Kids and Self Doubt by Jessie Weaver

When Libbie was about a year old, I was living with her by myself in our condo in Nashville. My husband was in Chattanooga during the workweek, and I was waiting on our condo to sell. (Ha. That’s been a year and a half. Still own it.)

Libbie was playing around our kitchen island, and I picked her up. And knocked her forehead into the edge of the island.

Libbie wailed. I wailed. I felt like the Worst Mother of the Year award was right there for my taking. And I called my pediatrician’s office, who called my doctor, and then my doctor called me. Just so I could find out, really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. As long as she had a bump, it was OK.

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This weekend I’ve been attending to a baby with a mid-grade fever … not quite high enough to panic, not quite low enough to feel at ease with. I find myself in the same battle I always face: should I call the doctor? Is it a big deal? Sure, I’m supposed to trust my mother’s intuition … but I think it’s a little clouded by the worry a mother has for her sick babies.

The self-doubt is my least favorite part of parenting.

It makes me even more glad that my husband and I are not in it alone. Not only do we have friends, family, a church that loves us, Dr. Google, and Twitter, MD—we have a Heavenly Father who cares for us and our kids.

"In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence and his children have a refuge." Proverbs 14:26

For some reason, it’s struck me as beautiful lately how God and Jesus are Father and Husband—the two things Jesus was not literally on this earth. God, as Trinity, fulfills every role to us. He is beyond measure.

Because of this, I can muster up some confidence. And if I fall flat on my face as a parent, or go to the doctor when it’s just the sniffles … well, both God and the pediatrician will forgive.

SNV32999 copy.jpgWhen Jessie Weaver is not busy being the resident ParentLife Blogger, she writes at Vanderbilt Wife and also for magazines like HomeLife and ParentLife. She lives in Chattanooga with her husband, where they run after two little ones: Libbie (2) and David (6 months).

You’re Not Alone, Mom!

Chasing SuperwomanIn the May 2011 issue, our article "Looking for a Safety Net?" talks about the kind of mom friends you need in your life.

If you can’t find a way to meet regularly with friends, at least take time to read their blogs! There are tons of great mom Web sites out there to help you network and remind yourself you are not in this alone. Here are a few of our favorite Mom “reads” in book and Web site form.

 

 

Do you have a favorite mom blog or book about being a mom? I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my own imperfect-mom blog, Vanderbilt Wife. Hope you’ll pay me a visit! – Jessie

New Moms Need Mentors! by Jessie Weaver

A little over 22 months ago, I birthed my first child into the world.

She took her sweet old time as my husband and mother waited and the dog watched me, confused, while I didn’t sleep for two nights straight.

Her little life has changed me just as much and more than I expected. My greatest panic as we came home from the hospital in October 2008 was that I had no family in Nashville, where we lived. No one to call for help. I begged my mom to stay forever, to move to Nashville without my dad, anything to save me from having to raise a baby without her guidance. Wisely, she declined.

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Just a few days into Libbie’s tiny life, the preschool minister from our church came to visit. She brought three things: the rose that had symbolized Libbie’s birth on the church altar; a Christian parenting book; and a copy of BabyLife.

I will confess to barely touching the book; life was too overwhelming already with a newborn wreaking havoc in our house. But I read BabyLife from cover to cover, multiple times. And discovered its bearer, our dear preschool director, lived very close to our house and would fill in as “Mom” when needed. Her guidance and friendship saved me several times.

Titus 2:3-5 encourages older women to mentor younger women “to be sensible.” I can think of many times when I needed some sense stuffed into my head. I am forever grateful to the women in my life — older, not too much older, even younger — who have taken the time to talk me down from a cliff. Every new mom needs guidance at one time or another, whether she wants to admit it or not!

Now, as baby #2 is gestating and December seems to be getting closer and closer, I hope to find another wonderful mentor in our new city. Because life with two seems pretty scary to me, but I know a lot of women have been there.
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The ParentLife staff is starting work on the newest edition of
BabyLife , which will be released in June 2011. The magazine is full of advice for parenting children during their first two years of life. What would you like to see featured in the magazine? What articles would catch your attention?

Jessie, the new “ParentLife Blog Guru,” is a stay-at-home mom and freelance writer and editor in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She has blogged for over four years at Vanderbilt Wife.

Back-to-School Moms

When it comes to back to school, most news coverage focuses on getting the kids prepared for the new school year, but what about the newest population of students … moms?

In these uncertain times, a record number of moms will go back to college this fall to advance current careers, find new job options, and seize opportunities to contribute more to household finances during a recession. 

How do the families of college moms cope? Try the following tips from real-life college moms.73_Mom_online.jpg

  1. Gain the support of friends and family. We all need cheerleaders to accomplish the many things moms do in any single day. 
  2. When you go back to school supply shopping for the kids, don’t forget your own supplies for online studying like printer ink and paper, a spare battery pack for the laptop, and flash drives.
  3. Prepare meals for the week on Sunday. Whether it’s a hearty soup, lasagna, or a casserole, make meals that are filling and easy to take out of the freezer and reheat quickly.
  4. Work as a team. Show the kids that running a family requires team effort and that your schoolwork is important too. Let them pitch in to help out with family chores.
  5. Remind your significant other that he may need to brush up on his math and science skills because you will need him to help the kids with homework.
  6. Before you sit at your computer, take 15 minutes to do some stretching and/or a few sit-ups. Get the adrenaline pumping so that you are ready to commit to studying and homework.
  7. Instill in your children the value of making sacrifices. Teach them that hard work has positive results.
  8. For those single moms or stay-at-home moms who sometimes have to do it alone, it is OK to let your older children entertain themselves when you have deadlines to meet.
  9. Keep the faith. Everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes, there are more downs than ups. At the end of the day you can still do this. Remind yourself how much your education means to you and of the future benefits it will bring to your entire family.
  10. Plan some alone time, even if it’s a 20-minute soak in the tub to relax after the children are in bed.

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Thanks to moms at Kaplan University (www.kaplan.edu)— where nearly 75% of students are women and the average student age is 34 — for their tips for juggling family, work, and school.

Have you decided to go back to school?
 
 

Honoring Mom

Every year it seems I hear that more phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other holiday of the year. People are clamoring to get in touch with Mom and check in on Mother’s Day! And no wonder, considering how special Moms are!

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At ParentLife, we think of Moms in every issue we produce. In the May 2009 issue of ParentLife, we feature the article "Mentors for Moms" about how Moms receive so many benefits from having a godly mentor. The author, Linda Anderson, is the founder of the Mom to Mom ministry and curriculum to help encourage Moms and provide mentoring. Check out the Mom to Mom curriculum here.

Together with my children, I look forward to celebrating my wife on Mother’s Day and making sure she has a special day. I also plan to call my Mom and telling her thank you for being such a great Mom.

How do you plan to celebrate Mom this Mother’s Day?

An Unexpected Benefit of Motherhood

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I am so excited! This Sunday, I will celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a mother. Not only do I get to show my mother (and mother-in-law) my gratitude and love, but I also will be honored as a mother. My little boy, Jack, is a gift from God, and I do not remember what life was like without him. He has changed my world!

Being a mother has had some unexpected effects on my personality. Suddenly, I have a newfound confidence. Don’t get me wrong. After almost 10 months of parenting, I am still very insecure in my parenting skills. Every day I wonder if I am doing things right and whether or not I am the best mother I can be. But other insecurities in my have been drastically reduced.

Those that know me well know that I tend to get stuck in a rut easily. I order the same food from the same restaurants. I fix my hair the same way every day and do not branch out much when it comes to fashion. I tend to worry a lot about what others think about my appearance and my personality. But for some strange reason, since Jack has been around, I am much more willing to try new things and I worry much less about what other people think. I find myself looking for restaurants I have never been to and ordering new things at my favorite restaurants. I am ready for a brave new hairstyle and to shop for a new wardrobe.

Some of this confidence definitely comes from God. The end of my pregnancy and Jack’s delivery were anything but easy. In fact, some complications made them downright scary, but God carried us through. My faith and trust in God have been deepend, making me more confident.

I also think the confidence comes from my new identity as a mother. I feel important and needed more then I ever have in my life. I have a stronger, more clear-cut purpose. I realize that so many of the things I worried about in the past were insignificant and silly. Now, I have something more important to focus on — my family.

What about you? How has parenthood changed you? Have you discovered any unexpected benefits of motherhood?