If you choose not to include Santa in your Christmas tradition, you will need to help your child respond to others who believe in Santa. While they may be tempted to tell their friends the truth about Santa, perhaps it would be best for them to demonstrate tactfulness and refrain from doing so. If you decide to include Santa as part of your Christmas celebration, you will need to think through the implications of presenting Santa as real. One of our goals as parents is for our children to have the confidence that whatever we tell them is true. Don’t we undermine this when we claim that Santa is real? Perhaps the better approach is simply to share that Santa is make-believe. You can still have fun with Santa without compromising your child’s trust in your absolute honesty. There’s one other important factor concerning telling your child that Santa is real. What happens to your child’s understanding of Jesus when he learns that Santa is not real? For years you have told him that Santa was real and at the same time also told him that Jesus is real. I would encourage you to consider carefully if your child’s understanding of — and genuine belief in — Jesus is worth a brief season of believing in Santa. Brian Dembowczyk is Associate Pastor of Discipleship and Assimilation at FBC Tampa, Florida. He is married to Tara and is father of Joshua (5) and Hannah (3). You can follow Brian on Twitter at @BrianDembo or check out his blog at missionaldiscipleship.blogspot.com. __________ Our daughter (pictured above, with Santa at Sears) is 2 this year, and I still don’t think my husband and I have decided what to do about the Santa conundrum. He grew up not believing; I learned there was no Santa when I found his wrapping paper hiding in our basement around age 8. Did it damage me? Not much. But I see the author’s point. I’m interested to see what you have to say on the topic! Our friend Rebecca Ingram Powell is doing a series on Santa Claus this week over at her blog that you might want to check out as well! – Jessie, Resident ParentLife Blogger
Hamlet almost had it right. “To be or not to be” is a great question, but for many Christians, “To Santa or not to Santa” is truly the question to ask in December. Whatever you decide, can I make two recommendations? First, let’s extend grace to one another. The unity of the church should be strong enough to withstand a man in a red suit. Second, as a parent, don’t forget to filter this issue through the lens of honesty and tactfulness.
Real Life Solutions: Exposing Children to Drinking Relatives
Q: We will be traveling to our relatives in another state for several family gatherings during Christmas. Two of my siblings are problem drinkers, and I am not sure how to handle this with my family. We do not drink, so my children are not used to seeing family members act up while under the influence. In the past, the drinking has gotten out of hand. My children are now old enough to ask questions. What do I do or say if the drinking starts to become a problem again? A: Drinking during the holidays can get out of control and create many problems for families, especially in families where problem drinkers are in denial and do nothing to prevent getting intoxicated. The best advice is to make sure that when you visit, you have a way of escape. Even if your siblings offer to let you stay at their homes, reserve a room at a hotel. That way, if their behavior becomes problematic, you can leave. Before you travel, I would tell them and your parents that the past history of drinking makes you uncomfortable and that if things begin to get out of control, you will excuse yourself and leave. This way it puts the burden on them to moderate. If they persist in their behavior, you explained the rules ahead of time. If you leave, have a talk with your children about the importance of family (the reason you continue to visit) but that there are times family members must set limits and boundaries on behavior that is unsafe or inappropriate. Being around people who are drunk is not something you want to expose them to or be around. Altered states change people in ways that are not always nice. This is a hard line to take but one that will earn the respect of your children and may cause others to rethink their enabling behavior. Don’t allow anyone to put guilt on you for setting boundaries. You are not telling your family what to do but telling them what you will or will not tolerate to keep your family safe. You can see more advice from Dr. Linda on her blog. Do you have experience with having to set boundaries with family members? Please share your advice in the comments.
We are proud to have Dr. Linda Mintle in ParentLife each month answering questions submitted from readers. To submit a question for Dr. Mintle, e-mail it to parentlife@lifeway.com and include "? for Dr. Mintle" on the subject line. This month we have an extra Q&A from Dr. Mintle we wanted to share.
Not Just for Sunday School Teachers
The Levels of Biblical Learning (LOBL) is a simple but important ministry tool developed by experts to provide parents and teachers with visible milestones as you guide kids in their spiritual growth. The Levels of Biblical Learning gives a coordinated approach from birth through preteens by using 10 concept areas — God, Jesus, the Bible, Creation, Family, Self, Church, Community & World, Holy Spirit, and Salvation.
Let me just give you an example. This Christmas, you can talk about Jesus’ birth with your child in an age-appropriate way. You can start when your child is a baby … laying the foundational concepts and then building on them as your child grows.
Babies to 2s
- God chose a family for Jesus.
- Jesus was born.
3s to Pre-K
- Angels told Mary and Joseph that Jesus would be born.
- Jesus was sent to earth by God.
Kindergarten
- People in the Old Testament told that Jesus would be born.
- God sent Jesus to earth because He loves us.
Grades 1 to 2
- Prophets in the Old Testament told that Jesus would be born.
- God sent Jesus to earth because He loves us.
Grades 3 to 4
- Old Testament prophets revealed God’s plan for Jesus to be the Savior.
- Jesus came to earth in human form.
- Jesus understands what it eans to be human.
Preteen
- God planned for Jesus from the beginning of time.
- Jesus was born of a virgin.
- Jesus was God in human form.
To learng more about the LOBL, be sure to visit www.lifeway.com/kids.
More Childproofing Tips
In the December 09 issue of ParentLife, Christi McGuire provided some childproofing tips for Christmas. But there is even more you might not have thought of. Consider the following tips.
Poisonous Holiday Plants
Especially during this holiday season, keep the following list of plants out of reach of your baby.
- Poinsettias — Poinsettias cause little reacion in most people; however, ingestion by small children may cause skin or smouth irritation, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea.
- Holly — Ingesting small amounts can cause mild stomach irritation and drowsiness; ingesting large amounts can cause vomiting, diarrhea, dehydration, and extreme drowsiness.
- Mistletoe — Ingesting small amounts may cause mild nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Ingesting large plants may produce serious poisonings.
- Amaryllis— This plant can cause nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, and diarrhea.
- Christmas trees (pine, fir, spruce) — Most Christmas trees are not poisonous, but sharp needles can cause skin irritation and bleeding or choking.
Poison Alert: Toothpaste
Look closely at your toothpaste tube and you will see a warning label. Since 1997, the United States Food and Drug Administration has required a poison warning label on all fluoride toothpastes, which contain the active ingredient of Sodium Fluoride, a toxic poison. Although only 1 percent of the toothpaste contains this toxic ingredient, you need to call the poison control center if your baby ingests more than the tiny amount needed for brushing teeth. Toothpaste that is pink, sparkly, and tastes like bubble gum may be easily mistaken for candy, posing a poison hazard for your unsuspecting baby.
Socket-Lockits™
Check out this stylish new way to keep your baby safe! Socket-Lockits help reduce electrical and choking hazards in your home. Their unique patent-pending design incorporates:
- Self-locking barbs to prevent tiny fingers from pulling covers off
- A convenient pressure-button release to make removal easy for adults
- A variety of designs printed with non-toxic ink to match any décor
Visit www.socketlockits.com for more information and to order!
Do you have other childproofing tips related to the Christmas? Share your tips with other ParentLife readers by leaving a comment!
Christmas Ramblings
Last Christmas season was wonderful and easy for my new little family. Jason and I were still basking in the glow of being new parents. We were excited for extended family members to meet Jack. Jack was still young enough that planning holiday festivities around his schedule was no problem at all! But looking to this year … I was afraid things would be very different.
To be honest, I was worried this Christmas was going to be stressful. I was dreading putting out the Christmas decorations with a toddler underfoot, I was sure finding time to Christmas shop was going to be next to impossible, and I was concerned that all of the holiday festivities would throw Jack’s schedule completely for a loop! (I can see my husband now … shaking his head at my tendency to worry too much.)
The reality is … this Christmas season has been great so far! We put up the Christmas decorations after Jack went to bed one night! We kept things simple this year and didn’t go overboard. In fact, we put up the Christmas tree without any ornaments so that Jack could enjoy and explore it without us having to constantly monitor which ornaments he was handling. (Did I mention the tree is pre-lit? All we had to do was fluff it and plug it in! That’s my kind of decorating!)
While the busy part of the month hasn’t hit yet, I shouldn’t worry too much about planning around Jack’s schedule for Christmas activities. He’s very laid-back and has never had a problem being flexible!
And on the shopping front, we are almost done, and it has been fun to shop with Jack! We only have a few more gifts to buy for family. Then we can turn our attention to shopping for Jack … who surprisingly has become the hardest to shop for!
Last year Jack was too little to care what anybody got for him so we gave him practical things like bibs, blankets, clothes, and other essentials. But this year, there is a new pressure to get not only toys he will be excited about but also toys that are durable and will grow with him over the years. We only want to get him a few presents, so narrowing it down has been more difficult than I thought it would be. I’m sure all of the pondering will be well worth it though when Jack opens his presents on Christmas morning. I can’t wait to experience Christmas through his eyes!!
Are you looking for gift ideas that are memorable, flexible, and durable? Be sure not to miss the 2009 Christmas Gift Guide in the December 2009 issue of ParentLife.
Holiday or Headache?
There are only 18 more shopping days until Christmas! What feeling does that fact bring out of you? Excitement … or panic? What is so stressful about our Christmas season? Why is it that this season we observe as a holy day often turns into a headache instead?
In her article "Holiday or Headache?" (in the December 2009 issue of ParentLife), author Robin Chaddock helps families know how to make sure to keep Christmas a holiday and not a headache this year! To help parents keep focus, she provided us with the following four questions to ask yourself about Christmas. Above all, she stresses that Christmas should be a holiday of the heart!
- When you think about getting ready for Christmas, what is the thing that stresses you out most?
- What are your Christmas Kookies — the crazy little ideas that you think have to be done or the Christmas season will not be right?
- What have you been doing because it is expected or a habit but could probably be dropped from your schedule? What truly makes Christmas meaningful for you?
- As you look over the ways below to have a clear heart for Christmas, which of these might you choose to do and how?
H – Hand over the clutter — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
E – Experience your senses. Take in the sights, sounds, and tastes of the holidays.
A – Attend to God’s voice, remembering that God speaks in many ways.
R – Rethink your expectations. Are they realistic? Are they yours?
T – Take inventory of your attitudes with a focus on gratitude.
What steps do you take to make sure the focus is on Jesus this holiday season?
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
As we sat in terrible stop and go traffic Sunday on our way back from a Thanksgiving trip out of state, we listened to Christmas carols. We inevitably heard "It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" and had to chuckle sarcastically as we inched forward inch by inch! Despite so many things that can make holidays challenging, when it comes down to it, it is the time together as family that is one of the most wonderful things of life. Our time with family was precious, traffic or no traffic! These are the occasions that make lasting memories for parents and children alike.
However, I could kick myself this year for forgetting to take my camera and video camera on our trip. I had to chuckle a few minutes ago when I perused "Christmas Memories" in our December 2009 issue of ParentLife. In this article for our Parenting Matters department, I wrote all about how preserving memories is such an important part of the holidays to our family. Boy, did I ever drop the ball for Thanksgiving this year! I am thankful for my father-in-law for loving photography, so I will be able to get photos to help us remember our Thanksgiving!
Nothing is more precious to me now than to look back on photos of memorable occasions like Christmas. I still have a copy of a Super 8 video my parents took of one of my first Christmases. I am rolling on the floor playing with my Dad and brother. Grandparents are standing around observing the festivities. I forever have footage of my family at that stage in life. That video also has become more precious with the deaths of my grandparents and brother. Seeing them brings back a flood of memories that no one can replace.
This Christmas, I want to think of the impact our time together will have on my children for generations to come — from the photos and video we take to the traditions we celebrate. Above all, I want my children to be aware that the season all centers around Jesus!
What is your favorite Christmas memory or tradition? Share with us by posting one of your favorites!
The Advent Season
Has your family enjoyed the Thanksgiving books mentioned in the November 2009 issue of ParentLife? If so, we have even more recommendations for you!
Sunday, November 29th marks the official beginning of the Advent season. Celebrating Advent is one great way to prepare your family for the Christmas season. Be sure to check out these books related to Advent.
Jotham’s Journey by Arnold Ytreeide (Kregel, 2008)
The ADVENTure of Christmas by Lisa Whelchel (Multnomah, 2004)
The Advent Book by Jack and Kathy Stockman (Crossway Books, 2005)
Does your family celebrate Advent? If so, tell us about your Advent traditions?
The Art of Good Manners
It is never too early to teach your youngest family member how to be a gracious guest. As holiday gatherings approach, prepare your child with some manners. Encourage her to try the following.
- Look people in the eyes and say, “Hello.”
- Resist the temptation to complain — about the food, entertainment, or other guests.
- Say, “Thank you” when served food or beverages.
- Stay where the party is. Do not wander into rooms with closed doors.
- Clean up after yourself. Do not expect someone else to do it.
- Agreeably leave when Mom or Dad says it is time to go.
- Thank the host and hostess for inviting you.
For more about manners be sure and check out "The Art of Saying Thanks" by Kay Harms in the November 2009 issue of ParentLife. Also check out these books on manners!
Holiday Safety Tips
Thanksgiving is just over a week away and many families are already putting up their Christmas decorations! The holidays are an exciting time of year for kids, and to help ensure they have a safe holiday season, here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
Trees
When purchasing an artificial tree, look for the label "Fire Resistant."- When purchasing a live tree, check for freshness. A fresh tree is green, needles are hard to pull from branches, and when bent between your fingers, needles do not break. The trunk butt of a fresh tree is sticky with resin, and when tapped on the ground, the tree should not lose many needles.
- When setting up a tree at home, place it away from fireplaces, radiators, or portable heaters. Place the tree out of the way of traffic and do not block doorways.
- Cut a few inches off the trunk of your tree to expose the fresh wood. This allows for better water absorption and will help to keep your tree from drying out and becoming a fire hazard.
- Be sure to keep the stand filled with water, because heated rooms can dry live trees out rapidly.
Lights
- Check all tree lights — even if you have just purchased them — before hanging them on your tree. Make sure all the bulbs work and that there are no frayed wires, broken sockets, or loose connections.
- Never use electric lights on a metallic tree. The tree can become charged with electricity from faulty lights, and a person touching a branch could be electrocuted.
- Before using lights outdoors, check labels to be sure they have been certified for outdoor use. To hold lights in place, string them through hooks or insulated staples, not nails or tacks. Never pull or tug lights to remove them.
- Plug all outdoor electric decorations into circuits with ground fault circuit interrupters to avoid potential shocks.
- Turn off all lights when you go to bed or leave the house. The lights could short out and start a fire.
Decorations
- Use only non-combustible or flame-resistant materials to trim a tree. Choose tinsel or artificial icicles of plastic or nonleaded metals.
- Never use lighted candles on a tree or near other evergreens. Always use non-flammable holders, and place candles where they will not be knocked down.
- In homes with small children, take special care to avoid decorations that are sharp or breakable. Keep trimmings with small removable parts out of the reach of children to prevent them from swallowing or inhaling small pieces. Avoid trimmings that resemble candy or food that may tempt a young child to eat them.
- Wear gloves to avoid eye and skin irritation while decorating with spun glass "angel hair." Follow container directions carefully to avoid lung irritation while decorating with artificial snow sprays.
- Remove all wrapping papers, bags, paper, ribbons, and bows from tree and fireplace areas after gifts are opened. These items can pose suffocation and choking hazards to a small child or can cause a fire if near flame.
2009 – American Academy of Pediatrics
Stay tuned to the blog for even more safety tips from the AAP next week!
