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Added to Saturday Linky Love at Vanderbilt Wife.

A Call to Duty

Daniel has served in the U.S. Army for over eleven years. He is proud of the opportunity to serve our country. He believes that it his duty not only to protect our country but to provide freedom for his own family. His wife Jennifer and their three children are proud of Daniel’s service to our country but it is not without a cost to the family. Jennifer states, “the most challenging part of the military life is the time our service members have to spend away from us while on a mission or deployment.”

Aiming High

Being a military family for over ten years, the Hall family has adjusted to having dad away most of the time. Chad is a member of the U.S. Air Force and his service requires him to be away on an average of 200 days out of the year. Andrea and her two children have learned to aim high on the independence scale and lower the expectation of having dad around. Andrea states, good friends that become like your extended family help the most during the absence of your military spouse.”

Always Faithful

It didn’t take long for Shaina to gain an understanding of the commitment and dedication it takes for military families to remain faithful. Shortly, after she and her Marine husband, Chad wed, she was sending him off for duty. He witnessed the birth of their daughter via Skype. Shaina expresses that the most challenging part of being a military wife is feeling like a single parent and not knowing if your loved one will return home safely.

Galatians 6:2 states, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” One of the greatest ways we can lighten the burdens of our military is by caring for the heroes they leave on the home front.

Rhonda Hensley  is a writer, speaker, Bible teacher and avid photographer which all provide ample opportunity to share her life experiences as a pastor’s wife, mother and grandmother. www.kingdomjewelsministry.com

Let’s be upfront about this: these cupcakes have no redeeming qualities when it comes to nutrition. They are made with boxed cake mix, boxed pudding mix, soda, and whipped topping. Just so you’re warned!

But every once in awhile I think it’s OK to slide on my “real foods” morals and make something because it’s easy. These are great to make with kids for a few reasons:

• Only two ingredients in the cupcakes and four in the icing.
• Cupcakes are fun to eat and easier than slices of cake.
• Because there are no eggs in the batter, you can let your child lick the bowl without guilt. Or do it yourself.
• Lemon is yummy.
• This makes 24 cupcakes without a giant mess, huge ingredient list, or time-consuming steps.

So gather your little ones in the kitchen and bake!

Lemon Cupcakes

• 1 lemon cake mix
• 12 oz. lemon-lime soda
• 8 oz. whipped topping (Cool Whip)
• one box instant lemon pudding mix
• juice of 1/2 lemon (about 1 Tablespoon)
• 1/2 c. milk

1. Line muffin tins with muffin papers. Preheat over to 350F.
2. Mix together cake mix and soda until batter is smooth. Fill muffin papers about halfway with batter. Bake for 18-20 minutes, until done.
3. Meanwhile, fold together whipped topping, pudding mix, and lemon juice until uniform. Add milk and stir for 1-2 minutes. Scoop frosting into a large ziploc bag and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
4. When cupcakes are completely cool, push frosting down and to one side of the baggy. Snip corner off the baggy to make a pastry bag. Pipe frosting onto cupcakes. Decorate with lemon zest or sprinkles – or anything you can find in the fridge!

Basically any recipe where kids can dump and mix are great for cooking together. Here are some other recipes I like to bake with my kids:

• Chocolate Coconut Oat Bars
• Graham Cracker Banana Bread
• Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Quinoa Muffins

Pamper Me

Every woman likes to be pampered. Use a large makeup bag or a bathroom organizational bin. Fill it with some of the following items: nail polish, nail polish remover, cotton balls, lotion, a magazine. To make this gift even nicer, add a gift certificate for a pedicure or a massage. Wrap it up in cellophane and a bow. Attach a card that says, “You deserved to be pampered!”

Summer Fun

Teachers are probably just excited about the end of school as their students are.  Take advantage of this excitement with a summer-themed basket.  Some items to include are sunscreen, a favorite magazine, lip balm, a beach towel, bottled waters, or a gift certificate for ice cream.  Arrange the items in a brightly colored beach bag and attach a note wishing the teacher an awesome summer.

Gift giving is not always an easy task.  Gift baskets often make a big impact on a small budget.

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When my older three kids turned thirteen, I took each of them for a one-on-one trip with Dad—a weekend away where we could talk about “rites of passage” kinds of issues.

Chance is much younger than his siblings; he’s almost like an only child, and we have talks all the time. Plus, being our youngest, I’m probably more relaxed with him. So, leading up to his birthday, my bride reminded me that it’s still important to get away for some one-on-one time. She said, “You’re his dad, and those are the times that will help him grow up. You can’t miss this opportunity.” She was right, of course.

So, Chance and I went to a hotel about an hour away, and we just hung out as guys for the weekend. We played in the pool. I picked him up and threw him up in the air so he could make a big splash—things he would be embarrassed to do if his buddies had been there. It was just a fun time, and he knew he could open up and trust his dad.

Maybe more than anything, it was good to get away—just the two of us, like a private vacation. I could focus my attention all on him. And even though it cost a few pennies, by getting away some good things happened that otherwise would not have happened. Driving back home, Chance told me, “Dad, I didn’t know I was going to have this much fun.”

We had fun together, but I also wanted to speak truth to him about some big issues. That’s part of our coaching role as dads. There are good resources out there about some of the different approaches to rites of passage, and I hope you’ll use them. My approach was to simply speak from my heart on five key issues, and I want to give those to you today.

Now, let me say that you should revisit these over and over; don’t drop them on your kids in one shot from the fire hose. They learn best through consistent reinforcement as teachable moments come along. Briefly, here are five things I shared with my son—each worthy of a good conversation:

First, give information about physical and emotional changes—the “facts of life” a child of his age needs to know. I was glad, and a little surprised, to see how much my son knows. The dude is down the road a bit on this stuff.

Two, make sure to bring God into the picture. Open the Word and show him that these changes are part of God’s design. He made all of us with great care, and He has a purpose for our lives—even when it comes to sex. Talk about the blessings of marriage, and the positive impact of following God’s way. Tell him you’re praying for the girl he will marry some day.

Next, how to handle temptations. Shoot straight about the things he could see on TV, in movies and on line. Some of that might look good, but “it isn’t God’s best for you, Son.” Give him specific strategies how to handle it.

Number four: relating to the opposite sex. With my son, we talked about how are women to be thought of and treated, and how that should show up in our actions. And dad, make sure you are modeling that yourself.

And finally, the issue of trust. As I gave my son a vision for what Mom and Dad expect of him as a young man, I also told him, “Son, no matter what, you can trust your mom and pop. You can trust your dad. Come to us. Ask us about any situation.”

Those are the things I shared. Adapt them to your own approach. And make the most of that time when your son is starting the transition to manhood. Be there to coach him.

I hope you’ll make time to do this occasionally with each of your kids. Every father-child relationship needs those fun, focused times to bond you closer together.

In Bringing Up Girls, Dr. Dobson gives parents, grandparents, and teachers deeper insight into why girls are who they are. He speaks to both fathers and mothers about their unique roles in a daughter’s life and offers encouragement on how to raise healthy girls in a in a shockwave world. Bringing Up Girls draws on extensive research and is written in Dr. Dobson’s trademark down-to-earth approach. It will equip parents to handle many of today’s most pressing issues affecting girls, including: female physiology, relationships with mother and father, cultural influences, bullies, buddies and best friends, and spiritual development. 

To support some of his points, Dr. Dobson brings in conversations with experts about the influence of culture on youth, and shares interviews he had with young women, giving an eye-opening look into what girls want in their relationships and their views of the world.

The book includes commonly asked questions, as well as accompanying answers, parents have about their daughters regarding issues related to puberty and adolescence and the differences in behavior between boys and girls.

ParentLife has five copies to give away to our readers. Enter through the form below! (Only open to those living in the U.S.)

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My husband and I have sponsored a child through Compassion since our own first child was a baby. His name is Jerome; he lives in the Philippines; he will be 8 in August. We liked his Mickey Mouse shirt in his picture and that his birthday was close to our wedding anniversary. I try to write to him at least once every two or three months. At first, we got letters from his mother, which wasn’t quite as much fun. Now, we get letters hand-written by Jerome – and illustrated, too!

But in all this time, Libbie (4 1/2) hasn’t really shown any interest in the picture of the boy hanging on our fridge. I’ve never involved her in letter-writing. My husband and I have made the decisions about when to send extra monetary gifts for his birthday and Christmas.

Libbie’s to a point, now, where she’s beginning to grasp more concepts. She’s always been aware of our efforts toward Operation Christmas Child’s shoebox-packing program. She knows that I collect toys throughout the year that are not for her – they are for kids who don’t HAVE toys and need hygiene items. In lieu of a third birthday party, we even had an OCC Shoebox-Packing Party.

So really, it’s high time we exposed her to child sponsorship. It’s a big concept, though! How do we do it?

The other day I sat down with her and asked her if she would draw a picture for Jerome. I showed her his picture, told her he lived VERY far away, and that we send money to help him get school supplies and clothes and other things he needs. She seemed very interested and asked about visiting him one day. But then she flat-out refused to draw a picture. We’ll have to try that one again.

Worried about messing this up, I asked my friend OhAmanda – the wisest and most godly mom of young kids I know! – how she goes about this with her own kids. Her advice was to just make it natural. She keeps pictures of her sponsored children up. She prays with her kids for these children. Her own kids are involved in making “flat crafts” to send with letters to their sponsored children.

{Kristen from We Are THAT Family describes pretty much the same routines with her children. Plus, well, they go to Africa.}

So there are my first baby steps. Involving Libbie and David in praying, writing, crafting. Seeing. Understanding will come in time.

Compassion also has an online game called Quest for Compassion that I think we’ll have to try out!

Do you sponsor a child? How do you involve your kids in it?

It is hard when your child has surgery, but when your child has special needs, it can be even more challenging.  For many kids, their disabilities increase these challenges exponentially.

What if your child is non-verbal and cannot tell you how they are managing the pain?

What if your child has an intellectual disability and they do not understand what is happening?

What if your child has sensory processing issues and the hospital environment becomes overwhelming?

Special needs parents already have a lot on their plates, so here are 5 practical tips to help special needs families get through a surgery:

1. 1.     Offer to watch the other children on the day of surgery, or the first few days following surgery.

If trusted friends help with the other children, parents can focus solely on their sick child. You might even go an extra step and offer to drive the kids to dance class or soccer.

1. 2.     Skip the hospital visit

Unless the child with special needs is very familiar with you and you plan to come to the hospital to give the parents a break, it might be best not to visit. Always ask, “Would it be helpful if we came to visit, or is it better to wait.” Some families have a hard time saying no, but it is overwhelming to entertain the visitors while trying to keep their child comfortable.

1. 3.     Text or email

Not going to the hospital does not mean that you cannot support the family. Text, email, message. You can do this throughout the day of surgery and the days following letting the family know you are thinking about them and praying for them. This is an incredible encouragement.

1. 4.     Bring meals or gift cards

This helps the family not give their full attention and energy to help their child recover without worrying about the little things, like feeding the rest of the family. Maybe your church can organize meals for a week or two.

1. 5.     Offer a special home visit

When one of my daughters was in the hospital, a group of women from my church came to our house to clean and do laundry. Not everyone is willing to take this help, but you can offer. Or maybe a group of friends can pitch in and hire a cleaning lady for a day.

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