I have read many blog posts and articles regarding the “mommy wars.” It’s the silly notion that there is a chasm between working moms and stay-at-home moms. Now, more recently, I’m seeing some posts on working dads vs. stay-at-home dads.
Could we just speak truth for a moment? It does not matter if you work outside of the home or inside of the home. You might be a single mom/dad or a two person team. You might have babes that grew in your womb or grew in your heart. Maybe you are a boy mama knee deep in army toys and dirt. Or, like me, maybe you’re a girl mama that has more Barbies in your house than the law should allow. Then again, bless your sweet heart, maybe you have a foot in both gender worlds. If so, my friend, I salute you.
Working parent, I applaud you. I did it for years and it is not easy. Stay-at-home parent, yay you, I’m doing it now and it is not easy. That is what I want us all to realize. This parenting thing is dang hard – for everyone. There is no time for us to be dragging each other down. We have to quit shooting our own wounded. I, for one, do not want to be the reason another mom or dad feels beaten down at the end of the day.
You and I, we are the same. We love our little ones. We pray for their futures. We clip coupons, pinch pennies and, sometimes, forget to shower. We have all made that midnight run to Walmart for gas drops or cough medicine. Each of us has had that moment where we felt one mistake away from our kids ending up in therapy. Admit it, you have sniffed a pair of socks to see if they could be worn just one more time.
I have felt the sting of those claiming they would never send their child to daycare. My blood has boiled at those wondering what it is that I do all day now that I “no longer work.” Whatever your average day happens to look like, mom or dad, I think you are a rock star. You are not the only one with a sink full of dirty dishes. You are not the first parent to call a peanut butter sandwich dinner because the thought of cooking was just. too. much.
I have worked full time. I have stayed home full time. I have worked part time from home. Whatever you do from nine to five, I am a huge fan of you. I won’t judge you when I see you at the store in pajama pants. I won’t shake my head when your kid is screaming and you’re frazzled.
There is no condemnation for those up to their necks in parenthood. Deal?
Stacy Edwards (@sjedwards) is a trucker’s daughter and a pastor’s wife. She is a freelance writer and a homeschooling mom to four fabulous little girls. Stacy blogs at Servant’s Life where she uses her words to point others to the hope and encouragement found in Christ. If you need her, she’s probably hiding in the bathroom.